x_pete_wisdom: (trenchcoat)
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x_pete_wisdom: (Default)
Well, physio and then some. They've done all the tests, and yes, I will walk again. Possibly freakishly soon, judging by the repair job that's been done on me. You can all applaud later. Anyway, there're a few some more tests and a lot of physio ahead of me, so I'm being shipped to Muir. Personally, I think it's just because MacTaggart hasn't had a chance to menace me with her instruments in a few years, but I'm not really in a position to argue with these people...

I'll see you all when I get back.
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Anyone else catch the debate last night? Anyone else starting to get The Fear? I don't care how well Obama did, McCain looks like he's getting it together. The dodering fuck up I've been laughing at few the last few weeks was absent last night. Instead we got Mr Calm, Genial and In Control vs Young Idealist.

Doug if you get a minute, can you run me some numbers one the polling swing among Undecideds? Because I fear Obama won't have won over anyone who didn't already support him with last night's performance, while I think the sudden coherency from McCain may have allowed him to peel off any undecideds who were learning toward him, but were put off by the "maverick" tag.

And if you didn't watch the debate last night: what the fuck is wrong with you?
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Today, as everyone knows, we celebrate the inception of the British experiment laughably known as "American Independence", distracting you from your conspiracy-run status with another round of heavy drinking and fireworks.

If anyone wants me, I shall be in my office, thinking up horrible things to inflict on your ridiculous country. And raising your gas prices.
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It is Friday afternoon. It is already getting uncomfortably warm in New York for fuck's sake. Anyway: amid all the disaster and explosions and general mayhem of the last, well, forever, I note that Xavier's guidance counsellor has had it away on his toes for a while. I am not surprised. He had that look about him, the last time I saw him.

Anyway, as the sole non-mad guidance counsellor Xavier's has ever had, I thought I'd try and pitch in with some help for all you poor unguided people out there. I am therefore declaring today "Dr Pete Sorts Your Life Out For You" day. Offer open to all staff, ex-staff, alumni and current students of Xavier's Institute For The Very Specially Insane.

Tell me your troubles, or your "friend's" troubles, and I will provide you with solutions that are 100% guaranteed to work, or your money back. Trust me. I am a professional man, with many years experience in solving other people's problems.

Tell me your troubles. Go!
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All these people who are compelled to express themselves in poetry, and not one of them is doing dirty limericks. That's a missed opportunity right there.

There was a young lady from Nantucket...
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So I am trusting each and every one of you who is reading this to keep your mouths shut to anyone who cannot read these journals.

Last night, Mark Sheppard was killed. He died because he believed in doing things that most people should not have to, in taking risks most people should not have to. Ultimately, he died because he believed in trying to make the world a better place.

Raising a glass in toast with a non-alcoholic drink in it is bad luck. So I hope that this once, Xavier's will relax it's otherwise sensible rules, and that those of you who don't normally drink, whatever your age, will at least take a sip with us, as we mourn our colleague, and most importantly, our friend, who died making sure other people didn't.

Mark Sheppard.
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In the last day or so, we've had one young man who really ought to have known better do something very, very fucking stupid, and a shouting match in the halls at Xavier's.

The young man, I shall leave to his girlfriend, who will, I'm sure, chastise him appropriately.

The shouting match in the hall isn't really my business. I don't know who it was, but I will hazard a guess that it was the result of someone suffering a sense of perspective failure. It always is.

Remember boys and girls: if you do not know what perspective is, you can take an art class. You will find it both educational, and therapeutic. I am told that both education and therapy are good things. Having had as little as possible to do with either, I wouldn't know.

I'm really only posting because I have temporarily run out of things to read, so if you have a problem, feel free to take it up with my staff.

Actually, fuck it. I think I'll pop up to Charlie's place to point and laugh at Nate. See you all soon.

And remember: art classes.
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Well, god, that was boring. But on the bright side, only one person shot at me, and he was drunk. And I think I may have said something about his daughter's tits. In my defence, I didn't mean to, but I was having trouble reading my phrase book at the time, because it was dark in that bar, and I'd had a few drinks. His daughter didn't seem to mind that much, anyway.

Anyway: I'm back. In celebration, I have bought coffee and fried pucks of lard dipped in sugar for the office (or doughnuts to the rest of you). They're in the meeting room. Enjoy. I'll be in my office for a bit.

Did I miss anything?
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And the reason I know this is because I saw the fucking dinosaur before I got my coffee.

Did we miss another mad bastard? I mean, OK, not many people can say that they killed a dinosaur before breakfast, and that makes me feel warm and special, but all the same, I think I'd prefer it if we found out what the fuck was going on and stopped it...

So: anyone have a fucking clue?

Mark...

Mar. 28th, 2007 02:36 pm
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What in the name of fuckery is that jar doing on your desk? I mean, I assume that the advertised purpose is a lie, because I know we've had the conversation about being in the office while all fucked up on the good drugs, and you haven't been round to share this morning...

And more importantly, who exactly was it that was stupid enough to contribute already?

I'm back

Mar. 6th, 2007 12:12 pm
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My mood remains foul. I require ten thousand cigarettes, and a very large coffee, because the flight was fucking horrible.

I'll be in the office if anyone wants me.

I note that none of my staff have as yet earned their free holiday. This is not a criticism, I'm just reminding them that it's still up for grabs.
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Children! I have important information for you all!

If you listen to "Emo" you are a cunt. "Emo" is music for whiners. Only whining cunts listen to "Emo".

If have have been affected by this unfortunate plague, I will be only to happy to give you some proper music to listen to. Like The Fall. Proper music involves mad northern men with a speed addiction shouting complex metaphors for urban misery. Or My Bloody Valentine. Then you can learn where all your favorite bands stole their guitar sound from.

Or, if you would like a more modern band, that actual young people are listening to, you could all be listening to The Pipettes. This is proper music for children. It is about staggering in from a nightclub at 2am, fucking the tremendously attractive young bit of stuff you picked up while off your tits on strong drink and cheap drunks.

Incidentally, if you are not doing this sort of thing, and are between the ages of 15 and 24, I recommend you start doing it at once. I can say this sort of thing, now I am no longer paid to lie to you in the capacity of being a guidance counsellor.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to join half my staff in tracking down and destroying a number of deeply annoying small musical devices, and then I will be having strong words with one of my staff, regarding more appropriate uses for his little hobbies, and how they might help earn him a pay rise.

After I've beaten him to a pulp, of course.
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It occurs to me that I have not really made use of this in the way I intended when we started Snow Valley, which is a bit fucking useless of me.

You see, for all I no longer work at Xavier's, I remain extremely interested in what the first (and then the subsequent) generation of mutants is likely to do as you grow into maturity. It's one of the reasons Snow Valley exists - to attempt to advise our clients on how to cope with the changes that a mutant society will bring to their business and their interests. (Yeah, that "first generation" assertion is shaky. Roll with it. My generation and the one before it had mutants, sure, be many of us weren't exactly normal socialised, and we certainly weren't able to mix extensively with other mutants at places like Xaviers, or Silver.)

(Fuck me, I sound like some kind of academic. Not bad for a man who only managed to get three O-levels, and two of them by accident.)

So I really wanted to use this space to ask you lot questions (students and staff alike), and y'know, hopefully start a little discussion.

So I read this the other day: Three New Yorkers Track What They Read, Watch, and Listen to for One Week.

I don't expect a full week or anything, but if any of you would like to tell me about your media diet for the last couple of days, and specifically if any of it has any relevance whatsoever to the fact that you're a mutant, then I'd be fascinated.
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A thought for the season: sometimes, children, if you pray very hard to the little baby Jesus, and are very good all year round, Santa brings you what you asked for.

Rot in hell, you old cunt.
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I'd just like to commend Mr Forge's book to your attention. It's really very good indeed, and I suspect it will be getting read by a large number of fairly important people over the coming weeks.

Well done, squire.
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I am still watching you all. I'm like the little baby jesus, except that I don't care how much you masturbate, so long as I don't have to know about it.

If this damn thing works, it means that we finally got the secure link between the new offices and Xavier's up and running, and my account on the system is switched back on. And so, I assume, are Remy's and Amanda's.

The new offices, for those that give a shit, are the Snow Valley Memorial Centre for Mutant Affairs, or something like that. I have buried my business cards under a drift of paperwork, and cannot be arsed to dig them up.

That's right, we all have proper jobs now. We get to advise stupid people (you know, politicians, captains of industry, and the sort of people who make world-changing decisions every day) on what mutants are for, and how people like us are going to stand the world on it's ear. Or something like that. I'm hazy on the details. Amanda's the only one who's got a piece of paper with a proper job description so far.

But anyway: it makes sense for us to keep talking to you lot, since you're the ones that're going to be doing the ear-standing. Hence all this.

For those of you who are new at Xavier's - I am the sole former guidance counsellor to leave the job as sane as they were going in. I look forward to making your acquaintance properly, when you're old enough to drink.

I'm off.

Apr. 7th, 2006 09:13 pm
x_pete_wisdom: (Default)
Don't know when I'll be back.

Look after yourselves.

Someone glue the breaks on the slaphead's wheelchair for me when he's not looking.
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Moira, after you kill him, you're going to have to resurrect him so we can all get a go at the stupid bastard.

Right now though, is there anything I can do to help?
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And it'll shut the gossips and rumourmongers up. 

I'm back.

You have been lied to this year.  I did not take leave of my senses and become a twisted fuck for fun and profit.  I did not suddenly decide that I looked good in a white suit.  I have spent most of this year working with Alison and Charles to remove the Hellfire Club as a threat to this school.  These names may or may not mean anything to you, but still: thanks in large part to my sister and Dr Steven Strange, Selene is no longer a threat to you or anyone else.  Sebastian Shaw now has plenty of other things to occupy his time, and a very strong incentive to steer well clear of this school.  Emma Frost, well, she was never a threat in the same manner as the other two, and now has plenty of opportunities elsewhere to exploit, anyway.

The job is done, as well as circumstances allowed, and I'm done with pretending to be the White King.

At some point, I'm sure I'll have the time to catch up on how all your lives have been for the last year, and meet any new young headcases that have turned up since well, January, really, but for now, I reckoned it might be best to at least explain where I've been, and why I'm back.
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