I Am Very Bored.
Jun. 13th, 2008 04:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x_pete_wisdomIt is Friday afternoon. It is already getting uncomfortably warm in New York for fuck's sake. Anyway: amid all the disaster and explosions and general mayhem of the last, well, forever, I note that Xavier's guidance counsellor has had it away on his toes for a while. I am not surprised. He had that look about him, the last time I saw him.
Anyway, as the sole non-mad guidance counsellor Xavier's has ever had, I thought I'd try and pitch in with some help for all you poor unguided people out there. I am therefore declaring today "Dr Pete Sorts Your Life Out For You" day. Offer open to all staff, ex-staff, alumni and current students of Xavier's Institute For The Very Specially Insane.
Tell me your troubles, or your "friend's" troubles, and I will provide you with solutions that are 100% guaranteed to work, or your money back. Trust me. I am a professional man, with many years experience in solving other people's problems.
Tell me your troubles. Go!
Anyway, as the sole non-mad guidance counsellor Xavier's has ever had, I thought I'd try and pitch in with some help for all you poor unguided people out there. I am therefore declaring today "Dr Pete Sorts Your Life Out For You" day. Offer open to all staff, ex-staff, alumni and current students of Xavier's Institute For The Very Specially Insane.
Tell me your troubles, or your "friend's" troubles, and I will provide you with solutions that are 100% guaranteed to work, or your money back. Trust me. I am a professional man, with many years experience in solving other people's problems.
Tell me your troubles. Go!
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-13 04:26 pm (UTC)Have them all shot. Failing that, remember that they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Unless that's venomous snakes I'm thinking of. Either way, don't let them bite you. Unless you're in to that kind of thing, in which case, a lucrative future in highly specialised porn awaits.
(Also: they are as confused by you as you are by them. Frankly, the only solution is to blunder around make several idiot mistakes in your youth, so that by the time you're 30, you have a decent collection of exes to look back over and think thoughts ranging from "why on earth did I...?" to "He/She/It wasn't so bad..." to "I learned an important lesson there - don't do drugs." At that point, you might have picked up some insight. The important thing is to enjoy your life while you're living it, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You'll screw up. You'll do things you wish you hadn't. Don't worry about it. It's not going to magically get easy soon, but as with all things, practice helps.)
Yours,
Dr Pete