I Am Very Bored.

[x_pete_wisdom]

It is Friday afternoon. It is already getting uncomfortably warm in New York for fuck's sake. Anyway: amid all the disaster and explosions and general mayhem of the last, well, forever, I note that Xavier's guidance counsellor has had it away on his toes for a while. I am not surprised. He had that look about him, the last time I saw him.

Anyway, as the sole non-mad guidance counsellor Xavier's has ever had, I thought I'd try and pitch in with some help for all you poor unguided people out there. I am therefore declaring today "Dr Pete Sorts Your Life Out For You" day. Offer open to all staff, ex-staff, alumni and current students of Xavier's Institute For The Very Specially Insane.

Tell me your troubles, or your "friend's" troubles, and I will provide you with solutions that are 100% guaranteed to work, or your money back. Trust me. I am a professional man, with many years experience in solving other people's problems.

Tell me your troubles. Go!

Comments

[x-pete.livejournal.com]

Dear Ms Pincushion,

When dealing with employers, it is generally important to maintain the respectful sanctity of the employer/employee relationship. However, in the case of your specific employer one must always bear in mind that your employer is often about as subtle as a half-brick in a sock, and will often miss polite requests, subtle hints, and in extremis, anything that isn't directly accompanied by some sort of minor violence.

It is also worth bearing in mind that I myself have encountered many examples of the kind of people your employer is dealing with in my professional life, and it is my medical opinion that having darts thrown into pictures of them is the very minimum course of treatment they require.

Rather than asking him to desist, I would suggest a simpler course of moving the pictures to behind the desk of someone who deserves to have to dodge the odd misfiled dart, and given the number of people who work for your employer, I don't imagine it would be impossible to find a good candidate, like say, Mr Allerdyce.

Yours,

Dr Pete